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Banging at the backdoor: Preparing for Anal Play


We get it, you’re no sex noob.


You have played the field a time or two and are no stranger when it comes to first, second, third or fourth base. But, as satisfying as those home runs are, you are looking to try something new.


You have decided you are ready to experience a whole new type of orgasm and slide, or have them slide, right into fifth base.



Like it or not, you have to talk about it.


But Ugh…

Butt stuff.


Why does the mere thought of bringing it up to our partner make us so uncomfortable? Seriously, what’s the big deal?


We stick penises everywhere- vaginas, hands, mouths… cleavage. Hell, some people even go for armpits and feet (no judgment, you do you, Boo). So, what is it that makes the whole backdoor lovin’ conversation just so damn awkward?

Oh, yea, that’s right.




But hey, shit happens (literally and everyone does it.) You ignore it, move on, and clean up afterwards. That’s not to say a little fecal matter will always be present, but definitely keep in mind, it is a possibility.


Okay, so you have gotten over the poop thing and you are ready to have the talk.


This is the important part, both parties involved need to be on the same page when it comes to going in through the backdoor.


With any kind of anal play, you have to communicate with your partner first.


Be clear on your limits, what you want to try and what you absolutely don’t want to try.


It may also be a good idea to develop a safe word. Together decide on a nonsexual word to use in the event things are not going as expected, you experience pain, or you just want to stop.


To the both of you, this safe word will mean- cease all actions.


As long as you are with a partner you trust and you are clear on your expectations, getting through the talk will be easier than you think.



For starters, diet is important when preparing for anal play. The best thing to consider before eating on the day of is — what goes in, must come out.


With that in mind, be sure to avoid anything overly heavy, greasy or spicy. The last thing you want is to feel bloated and uncomfortable or worse, develop an upset stomach on the day of. Ugh.


When it comes to getting things nice and clean back there, some people prefer to go for a pre-butt lovin’, anal douche. Now, this is not required by any means, it is just some people’s preference.


Preparing for anal sex is honestly as simple as making a trip to the bathroom to be sure your bowels are empty about an hour prior to play.

Once you are sure you won’t need to go, simply shower as normal. Just be sure to give your booty a good ol’ rub down with your normal soap, and rinse with water.


If you do decide to go the anal douche route, you are going to want to give yourself a 2-hour window before play. This can be done standing in your shower with a little bit of warm water or saline solution and an enema bulb. But again, anal douching is not necessary.





Sweet mother of all things holy, YES. You will absolutely need lube, and a pretty good amount of it.


The anus alone does not produce natural lubricant. You would be hard pressed to get anything in there without plenty of high quality, silicone based lube. Not to mention, if you did manage to get something through, it would most likely hurt, a lot.

Since we are looking for pleasure and not searing pain, silicone based personal lubricant is a necessity when it comes to anal play, coconut oil and even water based lubes, just won’t cut it.


By applying a generous amount of anal sex lube to both the booty and whatever you have chosen to be inserted (be it a finger, toy, penis…) you are ensuring proper slippage, making it a much more pleasurable experience for everyone involved.


Not only will lube get things going much easier, but it will also help protect both you and your partner from STDs and STIs when paired with a latex condom.


Condoms are highly recommended when sticking anything in the tush. Not only does it make clean up easier on toys, in the event of anal sex with a partner, it is a must for safety. Even when a condom is silicone lubricated out of the package it can still break during anal sex with all that tight friction goin’ on, leaving the both of you exposed to potential sexually transmitted diseases or infections.

Applying plenty of additional silicone lube to the condom will not only significantly reduce the friction against that sensitive skin, and the risk of the condom breaking it will also supply you with endless silky lubrication at the time you need it most.




Other than good lube and condoms, anything else is optional, really. But, if you want some things to consider, the list below will get you on the right track for sure.


  • Towel- this will definitely make cleaning your bed up easier
  • Toys- a beginner butt plug or anal beads are a good place to start if you want to give toys a try
  • Lube Shooter- it’s a nifty little gadget that will easily inject quick lube right up and inside the anus
  • Baby wipes- keep em’ by the bed, they are great for discretely wiping up any mess that may happen during or after penetration



Now you are probably wondering, “what happens after anal?”.


After you are all done you may be left with a bit of a mess.


No biggie, simply toss your lubricant spotted towel and/or sheets in the laundry, throw on some new sheets free of any lube and your bed is all set for a good night’s sleep or your next rump… wait…better make that romp in the hay.


If you used any sex toys, go ahead and give them a good clean up with a toy cleaner and let them air dry.


As for yourself, a quick shower and you are good as new. There is a chance that your tush may be a little sore the next day (of course, this isn’t always the case especially with the proper silicone based sex lube) but that’s nothing a warm Epsom salt bath can’t handle.


Finally, you are going to want to reassure your partner. After some anal lube fun for the first time with a partner, one or both of you may be left feeling vulnerable. Spend a little time letting them know you enjoyed having that experience with them. Also, you should ask how they felt about it and if they have any concerns they want to talk with you about.